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Thus ilka sense he did conveen,
Lest glamour' had beguil'd his een ; They all in ane united body,
Declar'd it a fine fat how towdy.2
Nae mair about it," quoth the miller, The fowl looks weel, an' we'll fa' till her."
Sae be't, says James; an' in a doup, They snapt her up baith stoup an' roup.3 "Neist, O!" cries Halbert, "cou'd your skill
But help us to a waught4 o' ale,
I'd be oblig'd t' ye a' my life,
An' offer to the deil my wife,
To see if he'll discreeter mak her,
But that I'm fleed he winna tak her."
Said James : 'Ye offer very fair,
The bargain's hadden, sae nae mair."
Then thrice he shook a willow-wand,
Wi' kittle 5 words thrice gave command;
That done, wi' look baith learn'd an' grave,
Said, "Now ye'll get what ye wad have;
Twa bottles o' as nappy liquor
As ever ream'd' in horn or bicker,
Behind the ark that hauds your meal,
Ye'll find twa standing corkit weel."
He said, an' fast the miller flew,
An' frae their nest the bottles drew ;
Then first the scholar's health he toasted,
Whase art had gart him feed on roasted;
His father's neist,- -an' a' the rest
O' his guid friends that wish'd him best,
Which were o'er langsome at the time,
In a short tale to put in rhyme.
Thus, while the miller an' the youth Were blythly slock'ning o' their drowth, Bess, fretting, scarcely held frae greeting, The priest inclos'd, stood vex'd an' sweating.
Dear Master James, wha brought our chear?
Sic laits' appear to us sae awfu',
We hardly think your learning lawfu'."
"To bring your doubts to a conclusion," Says James, "ken I'm a Rosicrucian; Ane o' the set that never carries
On traffic wi' black deils or fairies;
There's mony a sp'rit that's no deil,
That constantly around us wheel.
There was a sage call'd Albumazor,
Whase wit was gleg 2 as ony razor:
Frae this great man we learn'd the skill
To bring these gentry to our will;
An' they appear, when we've a mind,
In ony shape o' human kind :
Now, if you'll drap your foolish fear,
I'll gar my Pacolet appear."
Hab fidg'd an' leugh, his elbuck clew,
Baith fear'd, an' fond a sp'rit to view :
At last his courage wan the day,
He to the scholar's will gae way.
Bessy be this began to smell
A rat, but kept her mind to'r sell :
She pray'd like howdy 3 in her drink,
But meantime tipt young James a wink.
James frae his eye an answer sent,
Which made the wife right weel content,
Then turn'd to Hab, an' thus advis'd :
Whate'er you see, be nought surpriz'd,
But for your saul move not your tongue,
An' ready stand wi' a great rung; 4
Syne as the sp'rit gangs marching out,
Be sure to lend him a sound rout:
I bidna this by way o' mocking,
For nought delytes him mair than knock-
Hab got a kent 5-stood by the hallan,
An' straight the wild mischievous callan 6
"O wow!" said Hab, "if ane might Cries, "Radamanthus Husky Mingo,
No like a deil in shape o' beast,
Wi' gaping chafts to fleg us a' :
Wauk forth, the door stands to the wa'."
Then frae the hole where he was pent,
The priest approach'd right weel content;
Wi' silent pace strade o'er the floor,
Till he was drawing near the door;
Then to escape the cudgel ran,
But was nae miss'd by the guidman,
Wha lent him on the neck a lounder,1
That gart him o'er the threshold founder.
Darkness soon hid him frae their sight,
Ben flew the miller in a fright;
"I trow," quoth he, "I laid weel on; But, wow! he's like our ain Mess John!"
THE TWA CATS AND THE
TWA Cats ance on a Cheese did light,
To which baith had an equal right;
But disputes, sic as aft arise,
Fell out in sharing o' the prize.
Fair play, said ane, ye bite o'er thick,
Thae teeth o' your's gang wonder quick :
Let's part it, else, lang or the moon
Be chang'd, the kebbuck will be doon.
But wha's to do't?-They're parties baith,
An' ane may do the other skaith.
Sae wi' consent away they trudge,
An' laid the Cheese before a judge:
A Monkey, wi' a campsho 3 face,
Clerk to a justice o' the peace;
A judge he seem'd in justice skill'd,
When he his master's chair had fill'd,
Now umpire chosen for division;
Baith sware to stand by his decision.
Demure he looks-the Cheese he pales-
He prives 4-it's guid-ca's for the scales;
His knife whops throw't-in twa it fell ;
He puts ilk half in either shell :
Said he, we'll truly weigh the case,
An' strictest justice shall hae place;
Then lifting up the scales, he fand
The tane bang up, the other stand:
Syne out he took the heaviest half,
An' ate a noost' o't quickly aff,
An' try'd it syne ;-it now prov'd light:
Friends Cats, said he, we'll do ye right.
Then to the other half he fell,
An' laid till't teughly tooth an' nail,
Till weigh'd again it lightest prov'd.
The judge, wha this sweet process lov'd,
Still weigh'd the case, an' still ate on,
Till clients baith were weary grown:
An' tenting how the matter went,
Cry'd, Come, come, Sir, we're baith con-
Ye fools, quoth he, and justice too,
Maun be content as weel as you.
Thus grumbl'd they, thus he went on,
Till baith the halves were near-hand done:
Poor Pousies now the daffin 3 saw,
O' gan for nignyes 4 to the law;
An' bill'd the judge, that he wad please
To gie them the remaining cheese :
To which his worship grave reply'd,
The dues of court maun first be paid.
Now justice pleas'd;-what's to the fore 5
Will but right scrimply clear your score;
That's our decreet-gae hame an' sleep,
An' thank us ye're win aff sae cheap.
TWA travellers, as they were walking 'Bout the Cameleon fell a talking, (Sic think it shaws them mettl'd men, To say I've seen, an' ought to ken): Says ane, 'tis a strange beast indeed, Four-footed, with a fish's head; A little bowk, with a lang tail,
4 Trifles. 5 What remains. 6 Body.
An' moves far slawer than a snail;
Of colour, like a blawart' blue.
Reply'd his neighbour, That's no true;
For weel I wat his colour's green,
If ane may true his ain twa een:
For I in sunshine saw him fair,
When he was dining on the air.
Excuse me, says the ither blade,
I saw him better in the shade,
An' he is blue.-He's green, I'm sure.
Ye lied.-An' ye're the son of a whore.—
Frae words there had been cuff an' kick,
Had not a third come in the nick,
Wha tenting them in this rough mood,
Cry'd, Gentlemen, what! are ye wood? 3
What's your quarrel, an't may be speer't?4
Troth, says the tane, Sir, ye shall hear't:
The Cameleon, I say, he's blue :
T'imagine ithers will by force Submit their sentiments to yours; As things in various lights ye see, They'll ilka ane resemble me."
Now wat ye wha I met yestreen,
Coming down the street, my joe?
My mistress, in her tartan screen,
Fu' bonnie, braw, and sweet, my joe!
My dear, quoth I, thanks to the nicht
That never wished a lover ill,
Since ye're out o' your mither's sicht,
Let's tak' a walk up to the hill.
He threaps 5 he's green. Now, what say Oh, Katie, wilt thou gang wi' me,
Ne'er fash yoursells about the matter,
Says the sagacious arbitrator,
He's black.- --Sae nane of you are right.
I view'd him weel by candle-light;
And hae it in my pocket here,
Row'd in my napkin hale an' feer.6
Fy said ae cangler, what d'ye mean?
I'll lay my lugs on't, that he's green.
Said th' ither, were I gawn to death,
I'd swear he's blue wi' my last breath.
He's black, the judge maintain'd
An' to convince them whoop'd him out :
But to surprise o' ane an' a',
The animal was white as snaw,
And leave the dinsome toun a while? The blossom's sprouting frae the tree, And a' the simmer's gaun to smile. The mavis, nichtingale, and lark,
The bleeting lambs and whistling hynd, In ilka dale, green, shaw, and park, Will nourish health, and glad your mind.
Soon as the clear gudeman o' day
Does bend his morning draught o' dew, We'll gae to some burn-side and play, And gather flowers to busk your brow. We'll the daisies on the green, pou The lucken-gowans frae the bog; Between hands, now and then, we'll lean And sport upon the velvet fog.
There's up into a pleasant glen,
A wee piece frae my father's tower, A canny, saft, and flowery den,
Which circling birks have formed a bower.
Whene'er the sun grows high and warm, We'll to the cawler shade remove; There will I lock thee in my arm,
And love and kiss, and kiss and love.
We'll maybe return to Lochaber no more. GIE ME A LASS WI' A LUMP These tears that I shed, they're a' for my
GIE me a lass with a lump o' land,
And we for life shall gang thegither; Tho' daft or wise, I'll ne'er demand,
Or black or fair, it maksna whether. I'm aff wi' wit, and beauty will fade, And blood alane's nae worth a shilling;
But she that's rich, her market's made, For ilka charm about her's killing.
Gi'e me a lass with a lump o' land,
And in my bosom I'll hug my treasure ; Gin I had ance her gear in my hand,
Should love turn dowf, it will find plea
Laugh on wha likes: but there's my hand, I hate with poortith, though bonnie, to meddle: (7)
And if I should chance to come glorious Now Bessie's hair's like a lint-tap,
She smiles like a May morning,
hame, I'll bring a heart to thee with love running When Phoebus starts frae Thetis' lap,
And then I'll leave thee and Lochaber no
THIS IS NO MINE AIN HOUSE.
THIS is no mine ain house,
I ken by the rigging o't;
Since with my love I've changed vows,
I dinna like the bigging o't.
For now that I'm young Robbie's bride,
And mistress of his fire-side,
Mine ain house I'll like to guide,
And please me with the trigging o't.
Then fareweel to my father's house,
I gang whare love invites me;
The strictest duty this allows,
When love with honour meets me. When Hymen moulds us into ane, My Robbie's nearer than my kin, And to refuse him were a sin,
Sae lang's he kindly treats me.
When I'm in my ain house,
True love shall be at hand aye,
To make me still a prudent spouse,
And let my man command aye;
Avoiding ilka cause of strife,
The common pest of married life,
That mak's ane wearied of his wife,
And breaks the kindly band aye.
The hills with rays adorning ; White is her neck, saft is her hand,
Her waist and feet's fu' genty, With ilka grace she can command; Her lips, O wow! they're dainty.
An' Mary's locks are like the craw,
Her een like diamonds' glances; She's aye sae clean, redd-up, and braw; She kills whene'er she dances. Blythe as a kid, wi' wit at will,
She blooming, tight, and tall is, And guides her airs sae gracefu' still; O, Jove, she's like thy Pallas!
Dear Bessie Bell and Mary Gray,
Ye unco sair oppress us;
Our fancies jee between ye twa,
Ye are sic bonnie lasses.
Wae's me! for baith I canna get;
To ane by law we're stentit ;
Then I'll draw cuts, and tak' my fate,
And be wi' ane contentit.
FAIR WIDOW, ARE YE WAKIN'?
O WHA'S that at my chamber-door? "Fair widow, are ye waking?"