when it could undumpish' his royal mistress in her frequent paroxysms of concupiscence and ferocity! He was no poll-parrot retailer of other people's jokes. He had a wit's treasury of his own, upon which he drew liberally, and at sight. His nose was flat; not so his jests; and, in exchanging extemporal gibes with his audience,' he generally returned a good repartee for a bad one."

1 Tarlton having to speak a prologue, and finding no cessation to the hissing, suddenly addressed the audience in this tetrastic :

I lived not in the golden age,

When Jason won the fleece;
But now I am on Gotham's stage,

Where fools do hiss like geese.

On the authority of an old play, "The Three Lords and Three Ladies of London," published two years after his death, he was originally "a water-bearer." Among England's merry crew in the olden time were Will Summers, jester to King Henry the Eighth; Patch, Cardinal Wolsey's fool; Jack Oates, fool to Sir Richard Hollis; and Archibald Armstrong, jester to King Charles the First. There was a famous jester, one Jemy Camber, "a fat foole," who enlivened the dull Court of James the Sixth of Scotland. The manner of his death, as recorded in "A Nest of Ninnies," by Robert Armin, 4to. 1608, is singular. "The Chamberlaine was sent to see him there," (at the house of a laundress in Edinburgh, whose daughter he was soliciting, and who had provided a bed of nettles for his solace,) "who when he came found him fast asleep under the bed starke naked, bathing in nettles, whose skinne when hee wakened him, was all

Eugenio." "Tis said that he died penitent." Uncle Tim." I hope he did. I hope all have blistered grievously. The King's Chamberlaine bid him arise and come to the King. I will not,' quoth he, 'I will go make my grave.' See how things chanced, he spake truer than he was awar. For the Chamberlaine going home without him, tolde the King his answere. Jemy rose, made him ready, takes his horse, and rides to the church-yard in the high towne, where he found the sexton (as the custom is there) making nine graves-three for men, three for women, and three for children; and who so dyes next, first comes, first served, 'Lend mee thy spade,' says Jemy, and with that, digs a hole. which hole hee bids him make for his grave; and doth give him a French crowne; the man, willing to please him (more for his gold than his pleasure) did so and the foole gets upon his horse, rides to a gentleman of the towne, and on the sodaine, within two houres after, dyed: of whom the sexton telling, hee was buried there indeed. Thus, you see, fooles have a gesse at wit sometime, and the wisest could have done no more, nor so much. But thus this fat foole fills a leane grave with his carkasse; upon which grave the King caused a stone of marble to bee put, on which poets writ these lines in remembrance of him:

'He that gard all men till jeare,

Jemy a Camber he ligges here:

Pray for his Sale, for he is geane.

And here a ligges beneath this steane." "

The following poetical picture of him is exact and curious.
"This Fat Foole was a Scot borne, brought up

In Sterlin, twenty miles from Edinborough :
Who being but young, was for the King caught up,
Serv'd this King's father all his lifetime through.
A yard high and a nayle, no more his stature,
Smooth fac't, fayre spoken, yet unkynde by nature.

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died penitent. I hope all will die penitent. Alas! for the self-complacent Pharisees of this world;

Two yards in compasse and a nayle I reade

Was he at forty yeeres, since when I heard not;
Nor of his life or death, and further heede,
Since I never read, I looke not, nor regard not,
But what at that time Jemy Camber was
As I have heard, Ile write, and so let passe.
His head was small, his hayre long on the same,
One eare was bigger than the other farre :
His fore-head full, his eyes shinde like a flame,
His nose flat, and his beard small, yet grew square;

His lips but little, and his wit was lesse,

But wide of mouth, few teeth I must confesse.
His middle thicke, as I have said before,

Indifferent thighes and knees, but very short;
His legs be square, a foot long, and no more,
Whose very presence made the King much sport.
And a pearle spoone he still wore in his cap,
To eate his meate he lov'd, and got by hap
A pretty little foote, but a big hand,

On which he ever wore rings rich and good:
Backward well made as any in that land,
Though thicke, and he did come of gentle bloud;
But of his wisdome, ye shall quickly heare,

How this Fat Foole was made on every where."

And some capital jokes are recorded of him in this same "Nest of Ninnies." There was another fool, "leane Leonard," who belonged to "a kinde gentleman" in "the merry Forrest of Sherwood," a gluttonous fellow, of unbounded assurance and ready wit. "This leane, greedy foole, having a stomacke, and seeing the butler out of the way, his appetite was such, as loath to tarry, he breakes open the dairy-house, eates and spoiles new cheesecurds, cheesecakes, overthrowes

they cannot forgive the 'poor player:' little reflecting of how many, not laughing but crying

creame bowles, and having filled his belly, and knew he had done evill, gets him gone to Mansfield in Sherwood, as one fearefull to be at home: the maydes came home that morning from milking, and finding such a masaker of their dairie, almost mad, thought a yeares wages could not make amends: but 'O the foole, leane Leonard,' they cryed, 'betid this mischiefe!' They complayned to their master, but to no purpose, Leonard was farre inough off; search was made for the foole, but hee was gone none new whither, and it was his propertie, having done mischiefe, never to come home of himselfe, but if any one intreated him, he would easy be won.

6

"All this while, the foole was at Mansfield in Sherwood, and stood gaping at a shoomaker's stall; who, not knowing him, asked him what he was? Goe look,' says hee; 'I know not my selfe. They asked him where he was borne? At my mother's backe,' says he.-' In what country?' quoth they. -'In the country,' quoth he, where God is a good man.' At last one of the three journeymen imagined he was not very wise, and flouted him very merrily, asking him if he would have a stitch where there was a hole? (meaning his mouth.) Aye,' quoth the foole, if your nose may bee the needle.' The shoomaker could have found in his heart to have tooke measure on his pate with a last in steede of his foote; but let him goe as he was.

"A country plow-jogger being by, noting all this, secretly stole a piece of shoomaker's ware off the stall, and coming behinde him, clapt him on the head, and asked him how he did. The foole, seeing the pitch-ball, pulled to have it off, but could not but with much paine, in an envious spleene, smarting ripe, runs after him, fals at fistie cuffes with, but the fellow belaboured the foole cunningly, and got the foole's head under his arme, and bobb'd his nose. The foole remembering how his head was, strikes it up, and hits the fellowes mouth with the

sins they will require to be forgiven. The breath

pitcht place, so that the haire of his head, and the haire of the clownes beard were glued together. The fellow cryed, the foole exclaimed, and could not sodanely part. In the end the people (after much laughing at the jest) let them part faire; the one went to picke his beard, the other his head. The constable came, and asked the cause of their falling out, and knowing one to be Leonard the leane foole, whom hee had a warrant for from the gentleman to search for, demaunds of the fellow how it hapned? The fellow hee could answere nothing but 'um-um,' for his mouth was sealed up with wax, 'Dost thou scorne to speake?' says hee. I am the King's officer, knave!' 'Um-um,' quoth hee againe. Meaning hee would tell him all when his mouth was cleane. But the constable, thinking hee was mockt, clapt him in the stocks, where the fellow sate a long houre farming his mouth, and when hee had done, and might tell his griefe, the constable was gone to carry home Leonard to his maister; who, not at home, hee was enforced to stay supper time, where hee told the gentleman the jest, who was very merry to heare the story, contented the officer, and had him to set the fellow at liberty, who betimes in the morning was found fast asleep in the stocks. The fellow knowing himselfe faulty, put up his wrongs, quickly departed, and went to work betimes that morning with a flea in his eare."

Jacke Oates was "a fellow of infinite jest," and took to the fullest extent the laughing licence that his coat of motley allowed him. His portrait, contained in "A Nest of Ninnies," is quite as minute and interesting as the true effigie of Leane Leonard, which follows it.

"This Foole was tall, his face small,

His beard was big and blacke,
His necke was short, inclin'd to sport
Was this our dapper Jacke.

Of