"Has he lost his senses ?" ejaculated the bewildered Mrs. Flumgarten.

"He has found them, rather," whispered the satirical-nosed gentleman.

The bland looks and persuasive tones of Uncle Timothy, to say nothing of the last bumper, had wrought wonders on the master-mason. He looked Silenus-like and rosy, and glanced his little peering eyes across the table-Mrs. Muff having a voice too in the affair-for an assenting nod from the fierce black velvet turban of his better and bigger half. But Mrs. Muff made no sign, and he paused irresolute; when another kind word from the middle-aged gentleman encouraged him, at all hazards, to begin with,

Doctor Pott lived up one pair,

And reach'd his room by a comical stair!

Like all M.D.'s,

He pocketed fees

As quick as he could,

As doctors should!

And rented a knocker near Bloomsbury Square.

Tib his rib was not wery young,

Wery short, wery tall,

Wery fair vithal ;

K 2

But she had a tongue
Wery pat, wery glib
For a snow-vhite fib,
And wery vell hung!

"You shan't sing another line, that you shan't, Brutus!" vociferated Mrs. Muff. But the Cockney Roman, undaunted and vocal, went on singing,

Says Doctor Peter Pott, "As I know vhat's vhat, My anti-nervous patent pill on Tib my rib I'll try; If Mrs. P. vill svallow, if dissolution follow,

And she should kick the bucket, I'm sure I shan't cry !"

"Where could he have learned such a rubbish

ing song? A man, too, after pa's own heart!" sighed Mrs. Muff.

MR. MUFF.

And vel the doctor knew that a leer par

les deux yeux

Mrs. Pott vithstand could not, vhen shot from Peter's

eye;

So presently plump at her he opes his organic battery, And said the pill it vouldn't kill, no, not a little fly!

"Have you no compassion for my poor nerves?" remonstrated Mrs. Muff, pathetically.

"None vhatsumdever," replied the stoical Bru"Vhat compassion have you ever had for

tus.

mine?"

66

Besides," said he, "I svear, d 'ye see,

By the goods and chattels of Doctor P.
By my vig and my cane,

Brass knocker and bell,

And the cab in vhich I cut sich a svell,
That a single pill (a pill, by the by,
Is a dose !) if Mrs. Pott vill try,

Of gout and phthisic she'll newer complain,
And newer vant to take physic again."
Down it slid,

And she newer did!

(The Doctor vith laughing was like to burst!)
For this wery good reason-it finish'd her first!

"I'll send," cried Mrs. Flumgarten, furiously, "for one of the L division."

"You may send to Old Nick for one of the L division!" shouted the valiant Mr. Muff, aspirating with particular emphasis the letter L.

"Here I lays, Teddy O'Blaize,

(Singing)

And my body quite at its aise is;

Vith the tip of my nose and the tops of my toes

Turn'd up to the roots of the daisies!

And now, my inwaluable spouse, as I carn't conwenently sing you any more moral lessons, I'll tipple you two or three!" And Mr. Muff, with admirable coolness and precision, filled himself a bumper. "First and foremust, from this day henceforrer'd, I'm determined to be my own lord and master.

"Imprimis and secondly, I don't choose to be the hen-pecked, collywoffling, under-the-fear-of-hisvife-and-a-broomstick Jerry Sneak and Pollycoddle, that the Vhitechapel pin-maker vas! You shan't, like his loving Lizzy, currycomb my precious vig, and smuggle my last vill!"

“Et tu Brute!” said Uncle Timothy, in a half whisper.

"He is a brute !" sobbed Mrs. Flumgarten, "to speak so of poor dear pa!"

"Don't purwoke me, Mrs. Flumgarten, into 'fending and proving, or I shall let the cat out of the bag, and the kittens into the bargain! By the Lord Harry, I'll peach, Mrs. Muff!"

Mrs. Flumgarten's unruly member was about to pour upon the master-mason a flood of Fubsyean eloquence, when Prudence, the family guardian

angel, took her by the tongue's tip, as St. Dunstan took a certain ebony gentleman by the nose. She telegraphed Mrs. Muff, and Mrs. Muff telegraphed the intelligent Guy. Just as Brutus was fetching breath for another ebullition, with his hand on the decanter for another bumper, he found himself half throttled in the Cornish hug of his affectionate and blubbering first-born! When a chimney caught fire, it was a custom in Merrie England to drop down it a live goose, in the quality of extinguisher! And no goose ever performed its office better than the living Guy. He opened the flood-gates of his gooseberry eyes, and played upon pa so effectually, that Mr. Muff's ire or fire was speedily put out; and when, to prevent a coroner's inquest, the obedient child was motioned by the ladies to relax his filial embrace, the mollified master-mason began to sigh and sob too. The politic sisters now proposed to cut short their day's pleasure! - Uncle Timothy, to whom it was some consolation, that while he had been sitting upon thorns, his tormentors too were a little nettled, seeing bluff John Tomkins in the stable-yard grooming con amore one of Mr. Bosky's pet bloods, called out,