to have her pan burnt, and her eggs lost, she fetcht him a dish of butter, the which he put into the pan and made good meat thereof, and brought it to the table, saying much good may it do you my Masters, now may you say, you have eaten of a buttered whetstone. Whereat all the company laughed, but the woman was exceeding angry because the fryer had subtilly beguiled her of her meat.

Another.

HERE was an old man that could not well see, who had a fair young wife, and with them dwelt a young man, which had long wooed his mistress to have his pleasure of her; who at the last consented to him, but they knew not how to bring it to pass, for she did never go abroad but in her husband's company, and led him always. At last she devised a very fine shift, and bad her servant that he should that night, about mid

night come into her chamber, where her husband and she lay, and she would find some device for him. Night came, and the old man and wife went to bed, but she slept not a wink, but thought still upon her pretended purpose, but a little before the time prefixed she awakned her husband and said. thus unto him, Sir, I will tell you a thing in secret, which your servant was purposed to do; when I am alone. I can never be at quiet for him, but he is always enticeing me to have me at his will, and so at the last to be quiet with him, I consented to meet him in the garden, but for mine honesties sake I will not. Wherefore I pray you put on my cloathes and go meet him: so when he comes to you, beat him well, and chide him, for I know well he will not strike you because you are his Master, and then he may amend himself and prove a good servant: and the man was well pleased therewith. So the good man put on his wive's cloaths, and took a good cudgel in his hand, and went into the

C

garden. At length there came the servant to his mistress, where she lay in bed, and did what he would with her, and she was content, and then she told him how she had sent her husband into the garden in her apparel, and wherefore, and to what purpose. So her servant arose, and (as she bad him) took a good staff with him, and went into the garden, as though he knew not it was his Master, and said unto him, Nay you whore, I did this but only to prove thee, whether thou wouldest be false to my good master, and not that I would do such a vile thing with thee. Whereupon he fell upon his Master giving him many sore stripes, and beating him most cruelly, still calling him nothing but, Out you whore, will you offer this abuse to my good Master? Alas, (qd his Master) good John I am thy Master, strike me no more I pray thee. Nay whore (qd he) I know who thou art well enough and so he struck him again, beating him most grievously. Good John (said his Master) feel I have a beard.

Then the servant felt (knowing well who it was) who presently kneeled down, and cryed his Master mercy. Now thanks be to God, (qd his master) I have as good a servant of thee as a man can have, and I have as good a wife as the world affords. Afterwards the Master

went to bed and his servant also.

When the

old man came to bed to his wife she demanded

of him how he sped. By my troth wife, I

He answered and said, have the trustiest servant in the world and as faithful a wife; for my servant came thither with a great staff, and did beat me right sore, thinking it had been you; Whereupon I was well pleased therewith. But ever after the servant was well beloved of his Master, but better of his Mistress: for his Master had no mistrust of him, though he had made him a Cuckold. So the poore man was cruelly beaten, and made a Summers Bird nevertheless.

Another.

HERE was a man in the Country, who had not been any far traveller, and dwelt far from any church, except a church that was seven or eight miles from his house, and there they never sung mass nor Even song, but did ever say it. And on a time he came to London, having never been here before, and being in London, he went to Paul's church, and went into the chappel, where they sung Mass with organs, and when he heard the melody of the Organs and the singing together, that he never heard before, he thought he should have gone to Heaven by and by, and looked and said aloud that every one heard, O Lord, shall I go to Heaven presently? I would thou wouldest let me alone till I might go home and fetch my white stick and black hood, and then I would go gladly with thee. Whereat all the people laughed heartily.