them) but having the money he went into the kitchen, to the Maid requiring her to give him a basket: and then he went unto a brewhouse, and fetcht a pennie worth of grains: but the gentlewoman did greatly marvell where he tarryed so long (supposing that he had been at the apothecaries) but at last he came home with the basket upon his shoulders full of graines. Then the gentlewoman asked him if he had brought her the graines. Yes Mistresse (qd he,) I have brought you a penny worth of grains for your horse. Why knave (qd she) I meant thou shouldest go to the apothecaries for them. By cock Mistresse (qd he) I knew not that, but I have brought such as I could get. Whereupon the gentlewoman laughed heartily, to see how he had served her, through meer simplicity.

Another.

HERE was a widow in London that had a Dutchman to her servant, be

fore whom she set a rotten cheese and butter for his dinner: and he eate of the butter because he liked it, and his mistresse bad him eat of the cheese. No Mistresse qd he, the butter is good enough. She perceiving he would eat none of the bad cheese said, Thou knave, thou art not to dwell with honest folkes. By my troth Mistresse, said he, had I taken heed ere I came hither, I had never come here. Well knave, qd she, thou shalt go from on whore to another. Then will I go qd he, from you to your sister, and so departed.

Another.

HERE was an Italian which loved Coleworts well, and on a time he bad his boy go fetch him some coleworts and set them over the fire against he came home and the boy knew not the coleworts, but imagined thereby his master had meant coales, and carried them into his masters chamber: But then he thought with himself that it would not be good for him to set the basket on the fire, and let them burn. Now when his Master came home, he went into the kitchan, and demanded of the maid if the Coleworts were ready, she said she saw none. Then he said no more, but went to his chamber and meeting the boy by the way, he asked him for his Coleworts which he bad him make ready. Marry sir said he they be almost enough for they have lien rosting in the fire almost this hour. Where are they, said the Master? In your chamber sir, qd

E

the boy. So he went into his chamber and there he saw a great fire, and then he asked the boy again where the coleworts were. Why Master qd the boy I understood you that you bad me fetch coales and hang them over the fire in the basket, and if I should have done so the basket would have burned: wherefore I took the basket and powred the coals on the fire. O whorson qd his Master, I bad thee to fetch some coleworts and hang them in a kettle over the fire: and he was angry with the boy, but the boy stil said he did as he was bidden.

Another.

HERE was on a time a priest in the countrey that preached upon a holiday

in his parish church and as he stood in the pulpit he perceived through a hole in the glasse window, that other mens swine were in his corn. What the mischief said he stand I

here fading the time to the devil, and see yonder swine are spoyling my corn. And then he leapt out of the pulpit and ran as if he had been mad and left all the people to stand there like a company of fools.

Another.

HERE was three young men going to Lambeth along by the water side, and the one plaid with the other, and they cast each others cap into the water, in such sort as they could not get their caps again: but over the place where their caps were, did grow a great old tree, the which did cover a great deale of the water. One of them said to the rest, Sirs, I have found a notable way to come by them. First I will make myself fast by the middle, with one of your girdles unto the tree, and he that is with you shall hang fast upon my girdle, and he that is last shall take hold on him that