holds fast on my girdle, and so with one of his hands he may take up all our caps and cast them on the sand and so they did; but when they thought that they had been most secure and fast, he that was above felt his girdle slack, and said, soft sirs, my girdle slacketh; make it fast quickly said they: but as he was untying it to make it faster they fell all three into the water, and were well washed for their pains. Another. IN a time there was a priest in the country that was not very well learned, and had but a small living and he devised with himself how he might get some money, and at last he bethought him that making of baskets was a good trade, and so he fell to it and took a servant and so his servant and he made six baskets every week, and when they had made six baskets, then he knew it to be Sunday. And on a time he had made six baskets, and knew it not, and on the morrow began to make the seventh: but he had overlabored himself and forgot to ring to Masse, then the people resorting to church caused the bell to be rung. When the priest heard it he bad his servant go up to his chamber, and look how many baskets were made: and the servant went up, and found six baskets: Cocks body, Master, qd he, we have made six baskets already. What the devill, said the priest, have we made six baskets already; Then do I know it is Sunday. Go therefore presently and help them ring to Masse, for by my troth I had forgot myselfe. Another. HERE was a man and his wife lying in bed together, and the good man laid his buttocks on his wives knees, and so they lay sleeping, and the man dreamed that he was dead, and as he thought was carried into Heaven, and being there he dreamed that he did shite through the moon into the world, but he did shite into his wives lap: And when he awaked, he told his wife his dreame, and as she would have turned on the other side, she felt that she was all to be shitten? Cocks body, qd she, you have dreamed fair, for you have all to be shitten my knees; and so they were booth faine to rise to make themselves clean. Another. HERE was a Lady dwelt in the Countrey which had a foole that did use to go with her to church: and on a time as his lady sat in the church she let a great fart escape so that all the people heard it, and they looked on the foole that stood by her, thinking that it was he: Which when the fool perceived, he said truely it was not I that let the fart, it was my Lady. Whereat she was ashamed, and went out of the church, and chid the foole because he said it was not himselfe. Then the foole ran into the church againe and said aloud, masters, the fart which my Lady let I will take it upon me for she commanded me to say so. Whereat all the people laughed more then they did before, and the Lady was much more ashamed. Another. IN the countrey dwelt a Gentlewoman who had a French man dwelling with her, and he did ever use to go to Church with her, and upon a time he and his mistresse were going to church, and she bad him pull the doore after him and follow her to the church, and so he took the doore betweene his armes, and lifted it from the hooks, and followed his mistresse with it. But when she looked behinde her and saw him bring the doore upon his back, Why thou foolish knave, qd she, what wilt thou do with the door? Mary mistresse, qd he, you bad me pull the doore after me. Why whorson qd she, I did command thee that thou shouldest make fast the doore after thee, and not to bring it upon thy back after me. But after this, there was much good sport and laughing at his simplicity and foolishnesse therein. FINIS CHISWICK PRESS-PRINTED BY WHITTINGHAM AND WILKINS, |